Tag: news
group name: nonnews
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February 23, 2007 02:30 PM EST --
This just in -- a number of Gather non-correspondents have noticed that they are plagued by an earworm* infestation. Several became victims of the "Aqualung" earworm, after it was . . . more
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February 17, 2007 05:19 PM EST --
Sandy Knauer, who reportedly has not had a date sixteen years (although she did manage to get married five times earlier this year), has undergone a complete make-over in hopes of attracting someone . . . more
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May 27, 2007 04:51 PM EDT --
Much has been made of the attack of the Suzies this weekend. Let me introduce myself... I am Siouxy Article Writer, and I am the REAL Siouxy.
All other Susies, Suzies, Soozies, etc., are nothing more . . . more
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February 18, 2007 01:11 PM EST --
Monica the Money Tree - Age 2
Following a mysterious illness in which she dropped a leaf a day for at least a month, Monica was moved to the plant hospital (kitchen table). Despite aggressive . . . more
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February 20, 2007 05:37 PM EST --
Non-news flash! A Gather Non-News Correspondent has just noticed that everyone on Gather is connected to one person -- Kathryn Esplin-Oleski. No matter the author of the article, . . . more
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February 24, 2007 08:22 AM EST --
You are born naked.
Many things come after that.
You die. It's over.
more
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December 14, 2007 02:43 PM EST --
News Flash
Dateline: Santa Rosa, CA
One hundred percent, yes that's what I said, (100%) of my socks survived the laundry and are present and accounted for (and even counted)! . . . more
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February 15, 2007 05:05 PM EST --
Homeland Security thinks Kentucky born poet and political playwright, Naomi Wallace, is a threat to national security because she visited Cuba and her daughter (hide the eyes of any children in . . . more
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March 16, 2007 10:16 AM EDT --
Dateline: Royal Oak, Michigan
A revelation of epic proportions just occurred here at the messy desk of this non-correspondent. That's what happens when you transition from coffee to Japanese green . . . more
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March 06, 2007 11:09 AM EST --
Dear Abby... I mean Bongo...
I have never written to an advice columnist before, so I hope you remember my virginal status in this particular area and have mercy on me.
I need advice now like I never . . . more
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April 23, 2007 05:11 PM EDT --
I didn't think so, but...
It says so HERE
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March 05, 2007 09:55 AM EST --
After an exhaustive study, it was recently revealed that most of the people of the United States have not experienced their 15 minutes of Fame, as outlined by Andy Warhol.
Since this non-correspondent . . . more
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March 02, 2007 06:46 PM EST --
We are saddened to report that the brain of a GNN non-correspondent, Aniko R. is missing as of 11:00 a.m. today.
Initial investigations revealed that earlier this morning, Aniko R. was heard making disparaging . . . more
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August 30, 2007 11:56 AM EDT --
This reporter has come across a disturbing suite of facts which point unequivocally to the conclusion that Bongo Mirror is a prude.
Last night, while chatting with an attractive young woman, Bongo made . . . more
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February 26, 2007 02:11 PM EST --
As I lay soaking in the tub this weekend, totally unaware of my latent yearning to subscribe to the Courier-Journal, the phone rang. I decided to hop out and answer that ringing phone, since my . . . more
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February 15, 2007 08:54 PM EST --
We are twenty-four hours past the second night of American Idol post auditions and still have no report from Jake S., Gather's unofficial-but-widely-respected-and-anxiously-anticipated American . . . more
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March 14, 2007 12:22 PM EDT --
03-14-07
Dateline: Internet
On the Right Coast, mike e. has fallen off the face of the earth. Either that, or his boss is wise to his non-correspondent status and is keeping an eye on him.
On . . . more
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October 31, 2007 08:44 AM EDT --
How about "Goo snot gnu", as in "Goo's notg nu"?
or "Gee, not now"
or "Gosh, nice nipples"
or "Get Numb Now!"
. . . more
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September 07, 2007 12:13 PM EDT --
In an interview with this reporter, BONGO revealed that he is sure that he has plans for the weekend but he doesn't know what they are.
Back to you mike...
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February 15, 2007 01:11 PM EST --
Crews have been on the scene fifty-three hours. Still, nothing has happened at this hotbed of inactivity. Taco venders were on hand for the predicted influx of the Crystal City ‘believers’ . . . more
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